Summary:

In this part of the book, the author stresses the importance of taking responsibility for one's own actions, and not to leave ones decisions to be made by others. In his opinion, humans have a tendency to escape from freedom due to a lack of ability on following up the last-mentioned goal. Dr. Peck also underlines the importance of having an updated and correct picture of reality, in other words, dedication to truth. This includes a willingness to accept change and to allow new experiences to change our view of reality. The author calls this "dedication to reality". At last the doctor presents his thoughts on the ability to face challenges, and that the ability to be open to these is crucial. Only by having one's map of life challenged, can one possibly hope to have it corrected and improved.

Reading note:

The willingness to escape from freedom must seem especially evident in Japanese society. I once read an article by a Japanese scholar, in which he expressed a need to have the Japanese educational system reformed. The goal would be a system enabled to produce imaginative and creative students. Of course he has a certain point when making this reflection, but at the same time it is obvious that creative children are being born in Japan every day. The problem is that the teachers and schools manage to destroy almost every sense of creativity and imagination the children possess when entering elementary school.

So, what has this got to do with an escape from freedom? Well, in reality it is not an escape. It is rather a forced conformation, where students don't have the option to choose differently. One is not expected, actually discouraged, from making individual decisions. Others decide everything, and the last-mentioned are as always those who sit with power. People who've had their freedom taken away are easy victims to rule. But that doesn't make them happy ones. This, I think, is one of the roots of Japan's social problems.

Concerning the ability of accepting change, I must say that it is a perfect example of what is easier to say than to do. This is especially true if one has come to a point where one has lost the mentioned ability. Some might do this for religions reasons, but of course there are several reasons that might lead to such a disastrous unconsciousness decision. Only by acknowledging change is it possible to improve one's picture of reality, and I like the author's term; "Dedication to truth". This can be particularly important in processes as the one we are currently observing in the Middle East. Only by acknowledging that the world has changed, and that we don't live in history, can peace possibly be achieved.

Summary:

Section two starts with an introduction to discipline. First though, the author tries to explain and clarify the phenomenon known as "love". The definition given is; "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth". "Falling in love", does therefore not qualify as real love, this because of it mainly being a sexually linked experience. Neither is it an extension of one's limits or boundaries, but rather a partial and temporary collapse of them. Also the chapter teaches that healthy marriages must be based upon an acceptance of each other's individuality and separateness. It is also essential to develop the ego boundaries before one starts softening them.

Reading note:

"What you love in the one you marry, is a part of the one you never met". So goes an old saying, and even though the idea might be outdated and incorrect, it still creates a nice belief on which to build a marriage.

I have to comment on something written on page 88; "Falling in love is not an act of will. It is not a conscious choice". This might be too simple a conclusion. Some people are known to be too rational to fall in love. I think this is possible if one is able to suppress one's emotions to a greater or lesser extent. Also I find it difficult to grasp the fairly philosophical elucidation on love, perhaps it is just better to leave love as the unexplainable phenomenon it is.

Entering a marriage can probably be as much an intellectual decision as an emotional one. If one looks at statistics, one can easily understand what will increase the chances for a successful and happy marriage. If the idea of two people being meant for each other isn't really true, then it should give each one of us a wider selection of potential spouses to choose from. Evidently, it is beneficial to choose a spouse who grew up in a healthy and stable marriage. This, in contrast to marrying someone from a divorced home, greatly enhances one's marriage's chances of surviving. At the same time, one can study one's potential spouse's genetical record, this by surveying the life span of his/her closest family members. Decease very often cause break-ups, and they are very seldom a good foundation on which to build a marriage. Statistically it might also seem intelligent to choose a spouse from a similar cultural background, this including that he/she is from the same economic and intelligent league.

Of course one can go on like this forever, this until one has shortened the list of potential life-partners. Then one can search for one with similar interests and life plans. Perhaps this, rather than falling in love, is a successful start for a marriage that can contribute to both partners' spiritual growth.